3 Weeks already?

Your whole life you are told that the older you get the faster time goes by and when your younger you can't really imagine life going by any faster because you think it already flies by... but then you get older and you realize that they were telling you the truth all these years. I can't believe how much faster time has gone by in these last three weeks. Sometimes I swear I'll wake up and still be pregnant it just really blows my mind that Peyton is already three weeks old. She changes a little bit everyday and I love watching her changes but I sure do wish I could keep her small forever because I know these days are going to be just a memory the next time I blink. She is getting bigger every time I look at her I swear.  When she looks at me now I can tell she is actually looking at me...no more glazed over look LOL and she can follow things she sees with her eyes. She also makes faces at us and has even seemed to copy our faces a little. She is working on holding her head up a little bit each day and just keeps us laughing and smiling. She is sleeping pretty well at night for the most part and eats like crazy during the day but hey whatever she needs. It really just amazes me how much things change in such a short period of time.
Now as happy as I am I can honestly say that I've just never been more scared in my whole life. I want to protect her with every fiber of my being and I just can't imagine what I would do if something bad happened. Now I know I can't be paranoid and scared forever but its just such a new feeling for me. Some of this may be exacerbated by all the problems we had in the very beginning some of which we are still dealing with. Wednesday we take her to a physical therapist to see about getting the shape of her head fixed a bit... its not causing any neurological issues but I just really don't want her to be self conscious about it her whole life. So we're going to try this and see what happens. I can't help but feel like its somehow my fault and I have to do everything I can to fix it. Now I know in my heart that its not my fault but I just can't help but feel that way.
Well thats my little 3 weeks update... I will leave you with a picture of how we are spending our saturday evening.... watching football with daddy!

Mommy Fail #1

Well it only took two weeks for me to have my first mommy fail. And to say I was disappointed in myself would be an understatement (thanks hormones). Ok so here's the story. Blaine's brother and sister in law and two of their boys came down to visit us this weekend and meet sweet baby Peyton. Since the fair is still going on we thought it would be fun to take them and I've been feeling pretty good and Peyton has been doing great so off to the fair we went. It was smooth sailing for the first 3 hours or so, everyone was having fun walking through the buildings, seeing all the animals, and just enjoying being out and about. Ms. Peyton just snoozed away in the stroller and was the center of attention... everywhere we went someone stopped to look and tell us how beautiful she is (Proud Momma here). Well after about three hours as were in one of the buildings making our way through the aisles Peyton wakes up and is not a happy camper! So Blaine takes her out of the stroller and carries her through the last part of the building as we beeline for the doors so we can get her changed and I can figure out a place to sit and feed her (interesting thing to do at the fair). Well the line for the women's restroom was super long as usual so Blaine took her into the men's room to change her only to discover that little miss had had a blowout! She was in a disposable diaper that was given to us since we use cloth diapers but I figured I had them and it would be easier than the cloth while we were out... well these diapers just didn't fit her as well and so the blowout occured. Now to the mommy fail... since she had a blowout her entire outfit was ruined to wear and what did I have in the diaper bag for a change of clothes... a long sleeved and footed PJ outfit... WAY TO HOT for that! I mean we were all sweating it was hot even in the buildings! So she spent the rest of the time we were there (another couple hours) in nothing but a diaper and covered with a real light blanket. I felt terrible... then feeding was not super easy and it was hot and she was hot and I was hot and the nursing cover made it even more hot. I almost had a small breakdown at this point because I felt like a terrible momma and at this point I wanted nothing more than to just be able to give her a bottle! But I have a wonderful support team in my hubby and in my sister in law so I held it together without breaking down and we enjoyed the end of our fair trip. Lesson learned... ALWAYS have a onesie in the Diaper Bag! This will be a mistake I don't make again!

Life with a newborn

Well we have survived almost 2 weeks of life with a newborn and I can honestly say it is nothing like I expected... but contrary to what you may think... It is SO MUCH BETTER! Yes I am slightly sleep deprived (although the end of my pregnancy was that way anyway so I was prepared for it), yes I am still recovering physically although this is much easier than I anticipated and I am feeling closer to 100% a little more everyday... I mean I finally have normally looking feet and ankles again and for me it doesn't get better than that! But seriously taking care of my little girl is by far the best thing I have ever done in my life. She just lights up my world. I love all the faces she makes, the sounds... yes even the cries. I cherish the fact that I am the one who gives her food, that takes care of all her needs. And I am so so blessed to be able to do all of these things for this adorable little princess. Being a mom really is the best experience in the world even through all the sleep deprived nights of cluster feeding where daddy can't help a lick because all she wants to do is eat and since the feeding utensils are kind of attached to me I'm stuck but I dont mind. It just means more snuggle time for mommy! I know these days are going to fly by and that makes me sad just thinking about it but at the same time I can't wait to see what happens next, how she will grow and learn and do things on her own. Its just so exciting to be a part of something so special!
We haven't done a whole lot in the last two weeks besides just enjoy time as a family. We've made a couple trips out and about and they've all been successful so there really isn't any big story to tell there. We've had lots of visitors but lots of peaceful family times too... and having Blaine home with me as been wonderful... I kind of dread him going back to work because I just love being home as a family! But someone has to make some Money for us! We've been pretty productive in household projects the last couple of weeks which has been really nice and I've even managed to keep the house clean and the dishes and laundry done... all of these are pretty big successes in my book. Having this little girl just motivates me to makes things the best I possibly can in her environment.
Well I guess I'll stop rambling about how wonderful life is with my precious little girl and get back to loving on her since she's waking up now but I will leave you with one of her sneek peak newborn pictures so you can see just how adorable she is and why I am so in love with everything she does!

Ms. Peyton's Birth Story

Well I know its been a while since I've updated this but its been a little busy getting the last minute things ready and preparing for our sweet baby girl to arrive and now that she has we've been getting into the swing of things with a newborn. We have been very blessed with lots of help and encouragement throughout the entire journey and I can't thank our families enough for everything they've done for us.  But since it has been so long and I have a little down time this morning I thought I would update the blog and tell you all about Ms. Peyton's arrival into the world.

It was Thursday Sept 6 (my official due date) and we got up and around to go to my final doctor's appointment. We had everything packed and ready to go with us since we knew there was a pretty good chance we would be inducing that same day. So we loaded up the car took our "we're off to have a baby picture" in front of the house and off we went to the doctor. After getting all checked out, discovering I had made some progress but not much we began discussing the induction. I had researched a couple different methods that did not involve pitocin because I really wanted to try to do things naturally, however as my luck would have it I was just not a good candidate for those alternatives so pitocin it would be. This was a very emotional decision for me because I so badly wanted to meet my princess but I also knew all the risks that go along with being induced. And while we considered waiting a while longer they were still concerned she was going to be rather large and I just didn't want to risk anything happening to her all because I didn't want to use pitocin. So the doctor told us to get a light bite to eat and head to the hospital and we could get things started. I cried on and off through breakfast just thinking about everything... I was a bit overwhelmed to say the very least but I was so excited that it was finally happening.
We arrived at the hospital and got everything started at around 1130 that morning. I was pleasantly surprised that even after starting the pitocin I felt very little pain (for now). So I labored and visited with both Blaine and I's moms and Blaine for the next five hours. At 430 my doctor arrived and said it was time to go ahead and break my water to get things moving along because the pitocin alone was not progressing me very well. Now this is where the "fun" begins. So she broke my water and almost immediately the contractions became a lot less "fun". They were right on top of eachother with very little break between any of them. So after a little over an hour and lots of talk about how long my labor would probably be I decided to go ahead and get an epidural. Blaine was very supportive and tried to tell me that I could do it without but I just knew that I couldn't continue for an unkown amount of time in that much pain so epi it was and man oh man that was a great choice! Once that epi was in and working I was a whole new person and back to chatting and just enjoying the day... as much as one can stuck in a hospital bed getting ready to push out a baby LOL!!

After the epi I continued to labor for 12 hours! Lets just say I'm very glad I chose to get the epi! I progressed pretty slowly but finally at 2am it was time to start pushing... whew that is a lot of work! I pushed for 2 hours before she finally decided to arrive. She weighed 7lbs 12oz and was 21 inches long. I had a great nursing staff and doctor and wonderful husband who supported me through all the pushing and did a wonderful job encouraging me  while pushing. I don't know that I could have done it without them.
Now while most people would say all of that was the difficult part but in fact it was not. When she was finally born it was apparent that there was something wrong... she aspirated on meconium and the cord was around her neck and that was just the beginning. So they quickly put her on my chest let Blaine cut the cord very quickly and moved her over to the panda bed so they could get to work on her. They had to deep suction out her lungs (keep in mind that in all this time she still has not cried). She was very pale and while she was wide eyed she was not very responsive. Her Apgar score was very low and her respiration rate and heart rate were both very high. They worked for approx. 30 minutes (seemed like an eternity) to get her stablized all while trying to decide if she was going to have to go children's hospital downtown. This entire time I was still waiting to get cleaned up and everything. Once we finally got me all cleaned up ( and the color came back to my body... I lost a lot of blood) they had her stabalized enough that we were able to hold her for just a few moments and we were able to let our mom's (who had been waiting in the hall terrified) in to see her... only Blaine and I were allowed to hold her at this point because her head was so malformed from the birthing process they were concerned about neurological issues and she was very sore from it all. She also had one arm that she didn't want to move which added to their concerns. So after much debate they decided that she needed to go to the nursery to be monitored more closely but that at this point they didn't think she needed to go to children's hospital. I was relieved but still very scared for what could be wrong with my baby girl.

She spent the next 8 hours in the nursery being monitored, having labs done and receiving fluids . At around 1130 I was finally able to go to the nursery and see her, they had me meet with a lactation consultant and had me pump so i was able to go and give her what I had pumped. And I was able to be there for her first bath and finally get to hold her again. I can honestly say that was the longest 8 hours of my life not being able to be near her and hold her and know exactly what was going on but she was already improving and I knew that it was what was best for my little girl. After just a couple more hours they decided that her stats had improved enough that she could come back in room with Blaine and I and we couldn't have been happier! She has continued to improve and is just the most perfect little girl!

It was a very long day and a very emotional roller coaster but we are so very blessed to have our little girl home and healthy! I can honestly say that how this little girl was born was not anything like I had wanted or expected but I know that it all happens for a reason and I have been blessed beyond words just to have my little girl and that is all that matters. I mean just look how beautiful she is!

Just 6 weeks to go!

The last 8 months really have flown by but I can already tell that these next 6 weeks are going to creep along! Everything is ready for Baby Peyton to make her arrival all I need to do is finish packing the hospital bag and install the car seat. But other than that we are ready. I'm sure there will be lots of other little nesting projects I will do around the house in the next 6 weeks to keep me busy but as far as for preparing for the baby we are ready! Heck I've even done all my shower thank you cards and started filling out stuff in the baby book... I'm actually ahead of the game for once! But now that I'm all done I think i should have slowed down a little so that I could have more things to do in these next few weeks to help pass the time! oh well I'd rather be ready early than not ready when she decides to come ahead of time. My Dad had decided that she will be born on his birthday which is Aug 29 and that she will weight 8lbs 7ozs LOL! Now why this is funny that is so specific on his prediction its a bit scary because I kid you not from the day I told him I was pregnant he told me it was a girl. Even when we ALL thought it was boy he stuck by the fact that it would be a girl and he was right! So I guess we'll see how "physic" my dad really is LOL! But I asked him to change his weight prediction cause that just sounds like a big baby and a bit painful LOL! Well I don't really have anything else right now just wanted to update a little while I had the chance but I will leave you with the pictures of Ms. Peyton's finished nursery!

Looking into the room from the door. 

Look at the dresser and glider from the closet door.

Her Crib and Letters! 

Looking across the room from the glider. (picture is zoomed a little)

Prepared?

The closer I get to the due date of our sweet baby girl the more I wonder if I'll be as prepared as I would have hoped. Sure the nursery is almost finished, we have picked, toured, and preregistered at the hospital so when the day arrives we'll be ready to go and can skip a bunch of the paperwork! I already have a group in my phone of people to text when the time comes who will want to be informed of Baby Peyton's pending arrival. And I'm nesting a little more every day as far as the house is concerned. But I still just don't know that I'm going to be as prepared as I want to be. I know that I could never truly be completely prepared for the journey we're about to take, a newborn is a journey all its own and with every passing month it changes but I just want to be ready. I want to be the best mom I possibly can to this little life that I've had growing inside me for the past 7 months. I want to give her the best start in life that I possibly can and I want her to always know that she is loved beyond what any words can describe.
It's funny because I feel like at this point in pregnancy most women are becoming more fearful of the labor and delivery part of the journey, honestly that's the last thing on my mind. I know its going to hurt, I know I will have a few hours (hopefully thats all) of the most painful experience of my life, that doesn't scare me. Because I know when its done I will have my beautiful daughter in my arms and all that pain will go away and in just a few weeks time I won't remember how painful it was. All I'll remember is the prize I got at the finish line and she is worth every painful minute. I am more concerned about being prepared, being a good mom, hoping i can breastfeed the way I would like to, making sure she has everything possible to make her happy and comfortable. Teaching her as she grows, showing her how to live her life the way God would want her too. Showing her that there is so much more to life than just the everyday hustle and bustle. And all at the same time trying not to spoil her rotten so that she knows that the material things aren't what really matter. At this point it almost seems impossible!
Am I crazy? Surely I am not the only woman in the world who has these thoughts. I know I tend to be a little future orientated... its always been a flaw of mine. Why worry about today it's already here, I'd rather worry about tomorrow while I still feel like I have time to fix it if it needs it. But really am I the only one who does this?
I guess I just needed a little rant, clear my head of all the thoughts that have been building in them over the past few months as I prepare the best way I know for the arrival of our daughter. But I will say through it all I have had an amazing husband by my side. He may whine sometimes, he make joke when he probably shouldn't, but just the excitement he has at every appt., at each ultrasound when that first glimpse of her pops up on the screen. When he can feel her move and kick. He has already tried to have the two of them gang up on me. And man does his face light up each and every time we receive something that says anything about "I love daddy" or "Daddy's Girl" he is bound and determined that she is going to be a Daddy's girl and while I joke with him that she's totally going to be a mommy's girl it makes me soooo happy to see how much he loves her already and to know that he wants a Daddy's girl! I was never a Daddy's girl and honestly I dont know that my dad ever really cared one way or another (yes i know he loves me very much but thats not the point) so its just so fun to see Blaine's excitement. And I hope he does get his Daddy's girl but I hope she can be a bit of a Mommy's girl too!!!

Nebraska Trip and Peyton's first baby shower

We spent most of last week in Nebraska enjoy a wonderful time with family and friends! We drove up tuesday and enjoy a home run derby at the baseball park and then watched what would have been a wonderful firework display! LOL! I say would have been because we all learned that there is such a thing as sitting to close. There was so much smoke, they were so bright I couldn't hardly look at them and there was ash and debris falling on us. Yeah we were about as close as you could get but they were pretty! It was just fun to hang out with all Blaine's family and their kiddos! We don't often get to spend a lot of time with those Kiddos and they are growing soooo fast so we always enjoy the time we do have with them.
Wednesday was the 4th of July and we enjoyed a fairly relaxing day of hanging and doing a little bit of shopping (a trip to nebraska always includes shopping). Then of course in the evening we grilled out and went and shot off our own fireworks. I just watched the fireworks this time around but we still had a lot of fun. Had a few close calls which always seems to happen when we shoot off fireworks but no injuries so that is what is really important. I so understand why fireworks are illegal where we live!
Thursday the boys all worked very hard moving things for Blaine's sister Alyson and her husband. They are moving and are storing things at Blaine's parents house in the mean time so the boys got to enjoy a day of hard work! While Blaine was hard at work I spent the day with Aly and the precious little Tempey! We ran a few errands and just enjoyed our time together! I love spending time with them... Aly and I never run out of things to talk about... She truly is that sister I never had and I am so blessed by that! Thursday afternoon Blaine's Aunt Vicki and grandma and grandpa arrived for their visit and we enjoyed a wonderful family dinner. It felt like Thanksgiving! We had turkey and dressing and mashed potatoes and carol even made pistachio salad which is always a holiday favorite. It was literally like we had fast forwarded to November! We were just missing Baby Peyton!
Friday we spent the day enjoying time with Blaine's grandparents. And of course had to get our fix of the classic Nebraska restaurants that we always visit. So it was Runza for lunch and then a yummy trip to Dairy Queen to follow! We also got to enjoy sometime with a few of Blaine's friends from high school/camp friday evening. And of course another evening of grilling out. It was a relaxing and enjoyable day just getting to spend time with family!
Saturday was the big day! We got up and around and off to Baby Peyton's first baby shower! It was so wonderful for so many wonderful ladies to gather together and celebrate Peyton's upcoming birth and she was spoiled for sure! It makes me feel very blessed to know that while I may not personally know a lot of these women their are so many of them praying for us and our little family! One of my favorite parts had to be when one of Blaine's mothers small group women read up a devotional she had written for Peyton based off of her name. It was so sweet, Blaine's mother Carol was crying by the end of it! But it really was so sweet and I plan to keep it in her Baby Book so that she can see it one day! Everything was just wonderful and we had such a great time just fellowshipping and celebrating baby Peyton!

I have seen these done before but I just love them and was so happy to see one at my shower!! 

This Cake was so cute! It matched the invitations! And my goodness it was Delicious! 

Aunt Vicki bought this outfit shortly after Blaine and I got married over two years ago and has been hanging on to it until we had a baby girl! So cute! Can't wait to put Peyton in it for football season! 

Well of course since I was surrounded by the Nebraska Fans I had to have some Nebraska gear for Peyton too! We'll be cheering on both teams this season!

Alyson and Thea enjoying the shower!

Probably one of my favorite gifts! Thea had these made for me because she knows how much I love John Deere! Its a super cute taggie blanket and she also had three really awesome burp rags made with the same material! 

Alyson made this quilt for baby Peyton! I plan to try my hand at this quilt myself one day but we shall see! 

Those are just a few of the pictures from the shower but I didn't want to completely overload you. LOL!!! After the shower on Saturday we said goodbye to Aunt Vicki and grandma and grandpa and just enjoyed the rest of the evening hanging out with the family. We went out for a wonderful dinner and all went to bed early because the week was finally catching up with us!! 

Sunday we spent 7 hours in the car and arrive home in the evening happy to have had such a wonderful trip but happy to be home! 

Sorry this post is so long but it was such a fun and wonderful trip to just spend time with family and its our last one before Peyton's arrival so I wanted to make sure and document it! Now its time to finish prepping the house and organize all the wonderful gifts we were blessed with and just patiently waiting for her arrival!!!