Sunday, August 2, 2015

Everything happens for a reason

This post has been floating around in my head for a while now and I just haven't been able to bring myself to write it or really comprehend it all. Over the last few months the phrase "Everything happens for a reason" has been reappearing in my life almost daily. And its not just little things or recent things I truly mean EVERYTHING! On May 14th my entire world was thrown into a tail spin when my father had a massive stroke. We were very fortunate that it did not take his life and for that I am grateful everyday but it has completely changed our lives. Instead of living my pretty relaxed stay at home mom life where I can focus on keeping my house, playing with my daughter, going to play dates and all that fun stuff that we so enjoyed, now I care for my father during the day so my mom can work as much as possible. Which means instead of an 8:30 wake up from my darling daughter I am dragging her out of bed into the car no later than 7am and some days as early as 6am. It means helping to take care of two households, doing most of the shopping for two households and cooking most meals for two households. Its a whole different world for us now but we have made the necessary adjustments and are now pretty comfortable with our new routine. But as I sit and think about how different my life is just in the last 2 months I look back at 10 years ago or 5 years ago and I can see the things that happened to prepare me for this exact moment in my journey of life. When I graduated high school I had all kinds of plans for my life... I didn't think i'd get married, I had no desire to be a mother...  I had plans to go to college and get a degree with something to do in the medical field and have a wonderful career, that was the path I saw in front of me and I was happy with it. Then just a few months into my freshmen year I realized that i wasn't so sure about the degree i was going after and I had this overwhelming desire to become a teacher. So I changed my major and onto the next path I went... well then I got a job working in child care and went about my college path but things didn't pan out quite as I hoped and getting my teaching degree didn't happen but I had a new plan... I had a job I really enjoyed working at a good child care center and i was engaged to the man I loved and while it wasnt the plan I had dreamed of it was everything I could have asked for. Fast forward a year after we got married and baby fever began and another year after that we were pregnant and preparing for our beautiful daughter to be born. And I knew because of all my time in child care that I wanted to stay at home. I didn't want to go to work everyday to take care of other peoples babies while i paid someone to take care of mine. So I took the plunge and became a stay at home mom in September of 2012, fast forward to now... And I am so thankful that I am a stay at home mom because not only does it allow me to do all the things I want to do with my daughter and to teach her and love her all day everyday but it also allows me to now care for my dad. If I had that original career path that I had hoped for as a senior in highschool there is no way I could care for my dad the way I am now. And it would be a major stressor for my whole family because without me my mom would have to shoulder the entire burden. I have absolutely no doubt that God has been preparing me for this journey over the last 10 years or perhaps even longer. There are things I have learned from the jobs that I have had, the people i've known, being a mother, having medical professional as my in laws and so many more that I have used more in the last 2 months then I have ever before. Things that have made this transition easier and has allowed me to help my parents weed through all the nonsense that comes along with a major medical crisis and little to no insurance. I have been stretched far beyond anything I ever thought I could handle in these last two months and I know the only reason i have been able to do it is because of the preparations God has been doing in me my whole life. Another thing that has me remembering that all things happen for a reason is the adopting of my dads new kitty this last week. Now this may seem silly to most but for us pets are family so they are very special to us. Well my parents had a dog who was my dads buddy the whole time he was in the hospital and in rehab he couldn't wait to get home so he could have his buddy with him again. And when he did get home that dog helped his spirits so much... and then a couple weeks after getting to their temporary home (my aunts house) a terrible accident happened and my parents beloved dog drowned. It was devasting... On top of everything else we were dealing with that just made us feel broken and honestly it made me very angry at God. I just couldn't understand why he kept letting these bad things happen to us. I still really dont understand it but I know that he has a reason and that he isn't doing anything to hurt us. So we mourned the loss of our precious pet and dad of course began making plans to adopt a new dog once they were able to move back to their home. But he still missed his buddy everyday. he looked at her picture each day and wished she was there to snuggle like she always had. And I could see a drop in his spirits with each day that passed until one morning my mom went out front and noticed one of the neighborhood cats looking up a tree in the front yard and when she said something the cat ran off but mom thought it was odd that it was so intent at that tree so she went to investigate and found a young kitten just a few months old up in this tree. She coaxed it down and took it right inside to see dad. Now my parents are are definetly more dog people than cat people but really they are just animal people. Well at first they thought my aunt would just keep this kitten since she is definetly a cat person but that morning that sweet kitty jumped up into my dads lap and snuggled and slept and there was no going back. And now they are buddies. Dad says it easier for him to relax when the kitty snuggles with him and he just feel better having her there. And I know in my heart that God sent that sweet kitty to us. He knew exactly what my dad needed to lift his spirits and he put it right at our door. I think that is all i can put to words for tonight but I think i have more post in me as i work through this journey. Maybe somewhere along the way it'll help someone else.