Saturday, July 30, 2011

Never Adjusting

So the husband has been gone since yesterday evening before I even got off work and won't be back until around bedtime tomorrow and then leaves again on Wednesday and i will see him Friday but really he'll be engrossed in video games at his convention so there wont be a lot of seeing him. I am not a happy camper!! And people keep telling me oh you'll get used to it after a few years of marriage it won't be a big deal yadda yadda. NO! I won't ever get used to my husband being gone. I dont like it not one little bit. I haven't slept alone since we got married and frankly a big house with just me and the cat is a little scary! And my husband is TERRIBLE at answering his phone so not only is he gone but contact is limited and I am just not a very happy camper about any of it. I know I'm a big baby but hey there is a reason I married someone with a super stable very limited traveling job so I didn't have to deal with this stuff... and what does he do goes and gets certified to scuba dive and signs up for video game conventions! BOO! Ugh Just ready for the this to be done and go back to normal... I probably wouldn't be as blah about it all if we had like seen in eachother in the past two week but yeah lets be honest its been crazy. Starting two weeks ago I had group on monday and didn't get home till bed, tuesday was the american idol concert so again not home till bed, saw him wednesday and thursday, friday was my jewelry party so he hid most of the evening, got to see him saturday and sunday but then monday came and he had scuba so didn't get home till bed, tuesday was the same thing, wednesday he was home, thursday scuba didn't get home till bed, friday left before I got off work and now here we are. Probably not as bad as it feels but when your used to spending every evening hanging out it really sucks when all this happens at once! So there is my whining... if you actually endured the whole thing and dont think i'm a complete baby I appreciate you. If you do well blah I dont care cause I miss my hubby!

Thursday, July 14, 2011

What I want to be when I grow up?!?!

Yes I am 24 years old and I still don't have the answer to that question. I have thought that I had the answer several different times but alas I am once again at a loss for words when I think about this question in my current life. Lets start from the beginning... Once upon a time I went to this wonderful christian university which I wouldn't take back for anything... well this lovely university of mine decided that my .02 below their standard GPA wasn't good enough to student teach therefore flipping my life plan upside down. And since this lovely university had already emptied my wallet and then some I took the route of Liberal Arts and got out of dodge. All the while thinking maybe I dont want to teach... so in the mean time what have I been doing... Teaching... two years but still.... then about a month or so ago i decided that it was time that i see about pursueing my original goal of teaching again and I applied for my alternative certification... well of course my luck being what it is... I was told yeah your degree isn't good enough you're gonna have to do better... so now I'm back to the age old question of what I want to be when i grow up? I still think i want to teach but its the getting there that has gotten very frustrating. I thought about getting a masters... neither program i want will admit me without a teaching certificate... so I thought i'd go to a different university and see if they would accept most of my credits and let me student teach after a semester... they wont let me talk to anyone who can really answer these questions until I apply for admission (GAY). So now I've emailed my original university to see if they will write a letter stating I have enough coursework completed to classify as a Focus but then they want me to have two years experience in the field which makes no since cause I dont really know how you get experience teaching science without being certified to teach science... which brings me back to being at a loss for the answer to the question. How many roadblocks means that this is not God's plan, how many times to I try before i say hey maybe this isn't for me. If its not for me... well then what is? I think thats the scariest question cause honestly I have a clue what the answer to that would be. For the girl who usually has it all together... I've got nothing! BOO!