Thursday, August 29, 2013

Past, Today and Tomorrow

So tonight I went to a women's event at my church and it was amazing!! I will be completely honest in the fact that I was very much thinking about not going after my best friend told me she was going to a different campus for the event but I made myself go because I am trying to break out of my comfort zone and build new relationships with people and I really wanted to be in a massive worship experience like I knew it was going to be. Those were my favorite events when I was in youth group because it wasn't a normal church service, people aren't there because they feel obligated or they are checking their box for the week they are there because they want to be and they want to worship with every ounce of their soul and I just really wanted to be a part of that because I haven't been for a very long time. And I can say that tonight did not disappoint! I got nervous the moment I saw the number of women standing in the lobby waiting to get to their seats but I found a few familiar faces and I felt better. And the worship was amazing... it brought tears to my eyes... which worship often does. There is something about singing about the wonderful things that God has done for us and about our freedom in the lord that just always seems to bring me to tears. And then Kristine Cain spoke and it was AMAZING! I had never heard her before but now I want to read her book and I want to see her again because she was awesome! She was funny and engaging and real and transparent and just so truthful and passionate and it was just amazing. And of course as it usually goes when you attend a service like this you feel in one way or another that the speaker is speaking directly to you and today was no different. She spoke about how we let our pasts keep us from our tomorrows and gods plan for our lives. Hearing her talk about her story and her past and how much she has been through but still she was able to truly put her past behind her so that she can move on with her tomorrow and God's plan for her life. I have not dealt with half as much stuff as this woman has but I still carrying pieces of my past around with me everyday. I carry guilt and shame of my past sins with me everyday and I let it hold me back from my tomorrow. This all hit home with me from the beginning but when she started talking about if not for ourselves but for our children or future children it really hit me like a ton of bricks! I have a daughter that is going to be looking to me for example on how to get through struggles and sin and If I dont show her how to move on from that knowing and trusting that God has truly forgiven it all then I am hindering her tomorrow and god's plan for her life! Over and Over again in the last couple of weeks I have heard things that have made me pray for God to come and make a big change in my life and tonight was no different. I am on the edge of something amazing and I know that it is all in God's plan but I have to do some work too. And now I know I have to really start working on me and letting Go of my past to move on to my tomorrow.

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