Big Decision

Last nights sermon at church really got me to thinking about how i've been living my life in the aspect of my career. The sermon was all about living life as the journey and not always waiting for something to happen before you are satisfied. And not being scared to go for something just because of the unknown. Well it got me to thinking about how badly i want to teach science. I set out to be a highschool science teacher 5 years ago and there have been all kinds of hoops, and blocks in my path but ive decided that i can still do it. So I am gathering everything i need to apply for alternative certification. I am nervous no i'll admit it I'm flat out scared. I'm scared to fail, i'm scared they'll say no and my dream and all my hard work will be for nothing, i'm scared that maybe it'll happen and then i wont get a job, or if i do get a job then i wont be good at it or wont enjoy it as much as i think i will.... there are so many fears and what ifs running through my head but i know that its something that god has put in my heart to do and I'm going to do everything I possibly can to get there. I dont want to teach just because I like teaching and I like learning but I want to teach because I want the opportunity to make a difference in someones life the way no one but a teacher can. If it weren't for the teachers I had in my life while i was growing up i would not be the person i am today. I had teachers who truly cared and who believed that i could and would succeed even though i grew up in an area where many could care less. If had not been for those teachers who knows what my life would be like now and i want the opportunity to make that same impact in a young persons life. I know in my heart that to teach is a calling God has for me so im gonna stop letting my fear hold me back and I'm gonna go for it. Blaine is so supportive and is excited to see what happens right along with me. So many prayers in the months to come are very much appreciated and i will keep you all updated on what happens.